10 Weird Things only Floridians Understand.


Living in Florida is an altogether different experience from anywhere else in the world. With unique wildlife and a different weather than anywhere else in the United States we do things a little differently. Mostly because we have to, sometimes because it’s just easier.

Here’s a few of those Floridian oddities.

We wear Flip flops all year round, to everywhere, with very little exceptions

My wife has at least 12 pairs of flip flops. I have two, the kid has 3. We have flip flops for every outfit and occasion.

Even ‘dressy’ flips for those more formal occasions like outdoor weddings.

pro tip; if you see someone wearing crocs they’re a tourist.

 

 

 

We have almost no fear of hurricanes

 Our hurricane season lasts for almost half a year and Floridians don’t think twice about a category one. Seriously we have hurricane drinking parties to celebrate.

Floridians treat them like they treat snow days up north. We love the day off and hope our ac doesn’t go out.

But, don’t let our cool demeanor fool you we have a dozen flashlights, candles, power inverters for our Iphones and basically know how to live out of our car if the worst happens.

 

 

 

Our air conditioner is on if our electricity is on, no exceptions. The ac guy is on speed dial.

My father always said you need to know 3 people in your life, a doctor, a lawyer, and the ac guy.

In Florida it is not uncommon to stay in the 90’s  in December! I mean it’s freakin’ hot here.

My ac guy can have my season tickets or time share rental any freakin time he wants. I just need it to stay 74 in the house. 74 is cool.

Quick shout out to Halpert Air for always being there for me.

 

 

 

 

60 degrees is chilly for us. 

Look, it is an absolute scientific fact that after living in Florida for 2 years your blood thins and you become hyper sensitive to the cold.

I know. In a previous life somewhere in the north I would wear shorts in 40 degree weather. Not anymore my friends. 60 degrees is cold!

Plus we all have some leftover long sleeves and coats from our time up north and we love to bust them out anytime it’s 65 or under. Don’t judge. it’s like playing dress up or something.

 

 

7 foot reptiles are not a reason for alarm.

Honestly Florida is the Australia of the U.S.A. Like we have sharks, alligators, barracuda, boa constrictors, cougars, jaguars, and many many other very deadly or at least extremely painful things (jellyfish, no seeums, fire ants).

 

 

 

 

We Love our Publix!

Publix subs, Chicken tender meals, sweet tea by the gallon! Our go to store is Publix. They are the green capeless heros that provide us with delicious sustenance. 

But here’s the thing. it’s got to be your Publix. otherwise it’s kind of scary. I went in to a strange Publix and was lost for 3 days. I survived on nothing but Publix subs and employee smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone has an ‘avocado’ friend and a ‘mango’ friend.

 

There are approximately 9 mango trees in my neighborhood. When mango season happens everybody starts sounding like the bubba gump of mangos.

Mango jelly, mango jam, mango chutney, peppered mangos, mango smoothies, mango cobbler, mango salad..

We don’t have the ‘good’ avocados down here. you know the haas little wrinkly guys, but we do have those huge sassy fat ones and trust me you get used to them real quick when you are gifted with a bag of 30 of those puppies.

 

We all suffer from Beach amnesia Syndrome. 

Anywhere that you are in Florida you are less than 60 miles from a major body of water, gulf or Atlantic. I live about 7 miles from the beach and used to live only 3.

That being said, I’ve gone a whole year not seeing the ocean before. I moved down here to be next to the ocean and I forget it’s there! How does that even happen? A lot of Floridians get wrapped up in the grind and just forget that they live on a huuuge peninsula surrounded by magnificent water.

But when I go back I remember why i moved here in the first place and it always starts a little streak of beach days and nights again.

 

 

 

Floridians love to gloat about our mild to non existent winters.

Be honest, if you moved down to Florida you can’t wait for that first snowfall back home.

It’s almost a national holiday in Florida. We all take screenshots of our phones weather app and decry how chilly 75 degrees is!

We love to gloat.

 

 

 

 

No one’s home team is the home team.

Jaguars, Marlins, Magic, Panthers, Dolphins, Buccaneers, not our teams.

64% of Florida’s population was born in another state. Twelve million fans from somewhere else. lol.

I went to a Dolphins/Raiders game once and the stadium was filled with black and silver!

Don’t even get me started on the freaking patriots games.

 

So if you’re a Floridian I know you get this list. It’s weird but it’s us. I wouldn’t have it any other way really!

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