Leave it to Beaver not Love it to Beaver


By -Zach Coverdell     Well, it’s official, you can no longer leave your beaver unattended in Kennewick, Washington.  What a world we live in.

Richard M. Delp, 35, a transient, was a part of Kennewick’s string of drug-related arrests over the Labor Day weekend, having been arrested for first-degree animal cruelty and possession of methamphetamine in Columbia Park.  Delp is being held on felony charges without bail.

According to the Tri-City Herald, on the night of September 3rd, a woman accidentally hit the beaver with her car and left the scene to retrieve a box for veterinary transport.  Upon return, she found Delp “comforting” the beaver, before she realized that Delp was half dressed and “comfort” was a real one-way street.  The beaver did not survive this secondary assault.

Despite the sadistic nature of this crime, one must ponder what serial killer nickname Delp will receive for his meth-addled beaver sex.  “Kennewick Beaver Hunter”?  “The Fur Poacher”? “The Columbia Park Trapper?”   Media headlines could be glorious.


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